Just this once I am putting my foot down.
Friends, I hate that I have to be the one to issue this warning, but please please please do NOT put foil in the microwave. It will catch fire and a bunch of bad things could happen.
We have had to go over a few things in 2018 already: Tide Pods are for the washing machine (not the mouth); condoms are for the penis or penis-shaped object (not the mouth); and now – because of a bunch of dumb tweets about making foil shiny, we’re at a point where we have to be reminded not to roll foil up into a ball and chuck it into the microwave. Also, don’t put foil in your mouth.
1. Using your hands, create a rough sphere with aluminium foil.
2. Use a rubber hammer to shape it into a more exact sphere.
3. Hammer the ball for about two hours. Once the ball’s hard enough, use a hammer to shape again.
4. Polish the ball with coarse sandpaper, and then with fine sandpaper.
5. Put liquid abrasive on a dry cloth to gently polish the ball.
Anyway, now we have a few Bad Actors out here trying to trick people into throwing foil in the microwave and that is NOT OK.
It’s nice to sit here and be chill and just think everyone is in on the joke, but we can never be too sure. I mean this is a world where people joke about eating laundry detergent and ending up being hospitalised.
So, if you are at home tonight and find yourself craving a shiny silver ball for some reason, please do not turn to your microwave with foil in hand and think to yourself, “Hmm…maybe if I just…”